Change

I just spent a few minutes re-reading my 2008 Christmas newsletter and then (completely unrelated) looking at a NYC's friend's website. My 2008 newsletter was full of accomplishments. My friend's website was full of upcoming performances in well-known venues.

I realized that I was getting a knot in my stomach as I read both.

I don't think I was aware of the pressures of success while I was in the midst of them. And if I'm honest--yes, I'm a little worried about being away from it all. Will I do nothing now? Will what I do be mediocre? Will I be satisfied even if it is?

Will I quit performing?

I don't really think the answer to any of those questions is "yes." And the bigger answer is in the knot. I'm so, SO glad to be away from the pressure of whether what I'm doing is leading anywhere or impressing anyone or adding some significance to my resume so that I can climb higher.

Clearly the right time in my life to extract myself from that process. And wish my friends who are still on that path incredible success. And not feel any remorse that I'm no longer pursuing that same kind of success.

And count on still doing Good Work, wherever I am, however often I am able.

Happy New Year. :-)